Imaginative Stories Created to Entertain

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Learning to Read

I decided to read Frankenstein, by Mary Shelly, (should I say the full title?) Frankenstein; or the modern Prometheus. There are many reasons I chose to read this, primarily because I know the original story was radically different than the old Hollywood movies. Also, because Mary Shelly created an everlasting meme from her story. Everything from monsters to genetically modified crops.

While I was reading this, I found my progress to be very slow. I’m not a speed reader at the best of times, but this was becoming ridiculous. As I reflected on the words, I began to realize why I was so slow. The vocabulary used, and the construction of the phrases were more akin to the Victorian era, and not the twenty-first century.

The secret to reading works like this is to not race through the words. As a reader you need to forgive yourself for slow reading and in your mind apply yourself like a formal English gentleman. It may take longer, but it’s a lot more fun.

Casting my mind back to other classic writings, I thought of Shakespear. His writings were theatrical and more poetic. Whilst reading Shakespear in school, it had to be read slow, if only to enjoy the rhythm and his unique descriptives. Reading it slowly enhanced his words.

Then my English literary teacher introduced us to Geoffrey Chaucer. “Open your books to page one.” We were told. Are you kidding me? I couldn’t even read it, never mind understanding it. “Please sir, can I do a double class in mathematics instead?” I asked because I had to get out of there.

“Shut up Wozny! Sit in the front row and behave yourself.”

Chaucer turned out to be some of the greatest writings I ever encountered. Our teacher instructed us with a simple trick; read it in an old English accent. The closest I can describe is Somerset or Cornwall accents, similar to pirate slang. The entire class took off, and we competed amongst ourselves to read aloud.

So, what is the point of all this? I’ve led you through part of my literary appreciation for what reason?

Reading is a remarkable thing; in a sense, it is not natural for us. Modern humans are about 300,000 years old, while we’ve only had writing for about 5,000 years. Yet look at how the written words guide you along, suggesting to you how fast or slow to read it. I have read some passages (Stephen King) which made me jump out of my seat. Other comical books can cause me embarrassment while I burst into uncontrollable laughter.

If you are a writer, bear these thoughts in mind. The art of reading is the direct result of the art of writing. I cannot begin to advise how to construct such lively text, I have enough challenges of my own.

Remember, your words must be read.

Blood From a Stone

They say that writers should share their personal experiences with their readers. They say it adds depth and makes you look real, well here it goes.

When I lived in England, I frequently gave blood. I did this because hospitals are always in need, and I could rest assured that I indirectly saved lives. I was not paid for my efforts, but the National Health Service (NHS) did provide all you can eat ice cream and cookies.

At each session a pint of blood was extracted. The body replaces that pint very quickly from bone marrow reserves. However, it takes time for the reserves to recover, so donating blood could only be done every month or two.

When I came to California, one of the first things I did was stop at a hospital and ask if I could donate blood. They asked, “Are you from England?” I had to answer affirmative, whereupon they refused my blood. The reason being CJD, or Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, also known as mad cow disease. This incurable Illness was killing British cattle, and if you ate infected beef, you would also succumb.

I did get some free ice cream though!

More recently this American restriction was lowered, and by chance I came upon an offer where I could donate plasma. This time it wasn’t for ice cream; I would get paid for my bodily life fluids. Plasma is the fluid that carries the red blood cells, it is made up of 90% water and the rest is protein and minerals. They extract the blood, separate the red cells and platelets with a centrifuge. They keep the plasma and return the red stuff back into your arm in a saline solution. This is done in stages, extracting and returning and the whole process takes about an hour.

The downside is you have a piece of plumbing stuck in your arm which is connected to a big device which seems to be a cross between a washing machine and a drinks dispenser.

The upside is plasma can be donated (or sold) twice a week. Which also means I get paid twice a week.

I thought this was super cool!

Pretty soon, my arms began to look like that of a drug addict. To coin a phrase, I began to feel drained. The processing that preceded each session was repetitive, and tedious, a bit like checking into hospital. The dollar signs that previously lit up my eyes were fading. I realized I need my plasma more than I need their money. In future, I will stay true to my principles of giving to those in need.

The moral of this story?

Good things don’t always last.

If they don’t then they probably weren’t good things to begin with.

Solar Eclipse 2024

We planned for it in advance, but all good road trips follow a life of their own.

A trip to witness the 2024 Eclipse in North America. Checking several months ahead, flights to anyplace in areas of totality were stupidly expensive, hotels more so. Someone is making money, but it’s not me.

The decision was made to go to Niagara Falls, flying into Toronto, the weather would probably be good, and it’s a great place to visit. For some reason (probably economical) we flew Sunday night, April 7, arrived Monday morning, April 8, and hoped to race to the area of full totality.

What could possibly go wrong?

The weather for a start. Clouds and heavy rain were forecast, and maybe even snow. I almost stayed at home.

Car rental was second. Although booked and paid for, when we got there, the rental office was operated like a Muppet Show with Kermit in charge. I wasn’t laughing at the delays, but our tight schedule eventually held up.

As we drove from Toronto into the area of totality, it wasn’t raining, but the sky was heavy with clouds. I was resigned to disappointment as traffic became heavy. Our hotel was in Hamilton Ontario, on the way to Niagara. The slow progress persuaded us to have a pit-stop at the hotel.

Pit-stop turned into the prime stop, because the sky broke, the clouds cleared, and the sun came out (Yippy!). Instead of glorious Niagara Falls, we opted for the hotel parking lot. We donned our eclipse glasses, cameras, and other parts of spiritual wellbeing to observe the eclipse.

It turned out that Niagara suffered under cloud cover and did not see the eclipse.

I managed to take some pictures of the eclipse in our parking lot. The following are raw photos, without post processing, other than cropping to size. I only had basic equipment.

The first is when totality is about to begin, it’s commonly known as the diamond ring. A small portion of the sun is still visible at the edge of the moon. Blasting a flash of light just like a diamond on a ring.

The second is during totality. The corona or solar atmosphere is clearly visible. Notice that there are some red spots on the edge, these were solar flares shooting sideways out from the sun. This is one of the things professional observers are on the lookout for. Understanding these helps to know what our star is doing and how it behaves.

The next picture is from NASA, if you zoom in close, your will see some similar red spots on the edge.

OK, mine aren’t perfectly in focus, but they’re pretty good for the equipment I had.

It was pretty awe inspiring to see a black hole blocking out the sun. All around us on the horizon it was like a sunset – it was dark like evening, and the birds were shouting “bedtime!”.

The eclipse only lasted a few minutes, and we were able to see the shadow of darkness move away to the northeast.

Some interesting facts:

We are lucky to have eclipses at all. Most planets have moons that do not create an eclipse, they are usually much too small to block out the sun.

There are 2 types of eclipse: total eclipse and annular eclipse. The moon moves in an ellipse so is sometimes closer, and sometimes further from the Earth. This means it doesn’t quite match the perceived size of the sun.

In an annular eclipse, the moon appears smaller allowing a thick boarder of sun around the moon.

2024 was a rare occasion when the Sun and Moon match almost perfectly.

About 700 million years ago, the moon was slightly closer, meaning all eclipses were total, longer, and darker.

The moon is slowly getting more distant from the Earth, meaning in about half a million years (give or take) the moon will appear smaller than the Sun and all eclipses will be annular.

The moral of this story?

Don’t take plan A too seriously.

Don’t worry about plan B either.

You don’t need to worry about anything.

Just live and enjoy eclipses while we can.

Women’s History Month

March is Women’s History Month, and that is two of my favorite subjects. Women and history.  
The story this month is worthy of any fictional plot, it is full of love, devotion, endurance, and living outside of your defined boundaries.

This is the true story of Emily Warren Roebling, whom I like to call, the Mother of the Brooklyn Bridge.

Born Emily Warren in 1843, on September 23, she married Washington Roebling in 1865. Emily was well educated and interested in applied sciences.
Washington was an engineer, working for his father’s company. Their mutual love of the sciences probably spurred their love for each other.
Emily Roebling Academic Portrait

Washington was the son of John Roebling, a German born and very ingenious bridge designer. He was the architect of the Brooklyn Bridge, an advanced construction for its day. This bridge has rightfully taken its place as a National Historic Landmark.

After their marriage, Emily and Washington went to Germany to study caissons for the construction of bridge foundations. A caisson is basically a concrete tower sunk in place to enable workers to lay concrete at the bottom of a river.

Pneumatic, or compressed-air caissons, prevent water seepage, and allow for dryer working conditions. Since it acts as a diving bell, workers must slowly decompress before exiting.   On their return from Germany, Washington’s father, John Roebling died from tetanus, contracted through a work injury. This left the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge in serious doubt. The project was left to Washington, as he was recognized as the only person capable of completing the task.

One day while exiting a caisson, Washington suffered a decompression accident, causing the ‘Bends’. This is where soluble gasses decompress and expand inside the body, damaging tissues, organs, and nerves. This often proves fatal, but Washington was left severely crippled and bed ridden, leaving him unable to continue managing the project.

Once again construction of the Brooklyn Bridge was in doubt, but Emily stepped in to manage the project to its completion. She was the only one who fully understood the design, construction techniques, strength of materials, the intricate interweaving of supporting cables, catenary curves.  

Washington would observe progress through a telescope from his bed in Brooklyn Heights, both he and Emily liaised closely on design issues. As well as design and project management, Emily had to contend with financiers, politicians, and rival engineers. As she managed so efficiently and promoted the project so rigorously, many began to believe that it was Emily who was the chief designer.

Emily oversaw the successful completion of the bridge. On the opening day, she rode in the leading carriage across the bridge. I quote from the opening speech by the Mayor Abram Stevens Hewitt;

“An everlasting monument to the sacrificing devotion of a woman, and of her capacity for that higher education from which she has been too long disbarred.”

The moral of this story?   History is not just a story; it is a lesson to be learned.   Women are attractive, but they are a lot more than just a bit of crumpet.

Thank you for following me this far.   As always play nicely with everyone else.
That’s all folks!
Bernard Wozny
Self-Published author.
Keep reading…  
Keep Writing…  
Keep sailing on…  
And behave?  
President of the California Writers’ Club – Sacramento Branch.  
Check out our website (www.cwcsacramentowriters.org)
thats-all-folks
Dragon 2024

Little did the Dragon Know

Once upon a time, there was a little Dragon. The funny thing about this Dragon was, she didn’t know she was a Dragon. This is because nobody told her, but also, she didn’t bother to find out. That is often the case with heroes, or in this case heroines. In fact, many people in this world don’t realize who or what they are.

One Christmas, she met a Pig. The Pig knew he was a Pig. Nobody needed to tell him that because it was obvious. “There is nothing wrong with being a Pig. Eating, drinking, and relaxing in a warm bubbly mud bath. That’s the life for me!” He often said.

Pigs are warm at heart, free spirited, and they like their comfort. They indulge in wealth but care little for money. If anything, they are generous, always sharing with friends. They can also be finicky. After all, any old mud puddle will not do. It must be just right. Perfectly warm and bubbly and, of course, soothing for the skin.

Dragons, as you know, are powerful and enigmatic. They are visionary, goal oriented. Dragons say that they like to be romanced. I’ve heard others say idolized. They are supposed to have a keen sense of self, but this young Dragon lacked that quality. That’s ok because she was still young.

When the Dragon met the Pig, the Dragon thought little of the Pig. “Humph,” she said to herself, “what a scruffy, raggedy old Pig.” What she didn’t see was the warm heart inside.

The Pig thought, “Hm, nice girl, a bit young, but maybe we could go out together for a while?”

They did just that. The next day, they went downtown to hang out and see a movie. They watched the Bruce Lee movie, Enter the Dragon. Bruce Lee was famous in those days for being a super-duper Kung Foo hero. Since he was born in 1940, which also made him a Dragon. Since this was his first movie, Enter the Dragon was a very appropriate title.

Neither the Pig nor the young Dragon realized the significance of this. The Pig only thought, Ok, you’re taking me to see a Bruce Lee movie, whatever.

Years passed by and they didn’t see each other. Until one day, the young Dragon traveled to Scotland to pick strawberries. This wasn’t the first time the young Dragon traveled, but it was a long journey overseas for her.

The Pig was a confident traveler, visiting many mud puddles with many friends. When he received a message that the Dragon was in Scotland, he asked her to visit him.

That is exactly what she did. One day she turned up at the Pig’s mud hut, where he welcomed her with a warm and open heart. So, this story is certainly NOT love at first sight, but now it’s turning into whoopie!

They had to part, but they now were both seasoned travelers, and every time they traveled, they would make sure to meet each other for some more whoopie. This stuff is habit forming.

One spring day, they decided to stay together forever. As you know, it’s not yet forever, but the Dragon and the Pig are still together. In fact, they have two children, a Dragon, and a tiger, in that order.

Did they live happily ever after? That only happens in fairy tales.

The good news is that no one has cooked, shredded, or minced The Pig.

The moral of this story?

Everyone loves a bit of bacon!

And where would man be without fire?

That’s all folks!

Bernard Wozny
Self-Published author.
www.bernardwozny.com

Keep reading…
Keep Writing…
Keep sailing on…
And behave?

President of the California Writers’ Club – Sacramento Branch.
Check out our website (www.cwcsacramentowriters.org)
thats-all-folks
2023 New Year

New Year’s Eve 2023


By the time you read this, it may already be the New Year! Whatever your time, I hope you enjoyed the winter holiday season. I also hope you are looking forward to 2024.

The New Year always warrants a celebration. The countdown brings everyone’s attention to the moment we cross into the future. In many ways, this is artificial because every single moment of our lives transfers us into something new.   Individual moments rarely carry new intentions. Each New Year’s transition is a symbolic representation of new horizons.  

I have many new intentions.
Read more, write more, publish more.
There are other promises, such as stop being a grumpy old goat.
What I find with our resolutions, we often stray from our intention. Perhaps it’s because we overburden ourselves with these promises. In my opinion, we need to define a basic theme for ourselves, maybe even create a mantra that we can use to remind ourselves.

Before you become bored with my self-help nonsense, please pay attention to my simplified theory of New Year’s resolutions.

According to my calculations, my intention is not impossible.
Too many resolutions often result in failure.
Simplicity is the best answer.
My resolve is to…
FOCUS!
This is the root.
The prime number.
The least common denominator.
In the literary world, all elements of a story are FOCUSED on a theme.

May I offer a simple mantra – Define your theme and FOCUS on the correct way forward.
I have already set my literary goals and researched my path. I even have the determination to achieve.

As I FOCUS on my future, I intend to sell more books. This sounds like a capitalistic ambition, but you are mistaken. I will not quote scripture, but all books say it is wrong to “Hide your light under a bushel”. I need to spread my words to others. I’m coming out.

I already have an ally in my resolve. Remember my new chair from my last blog post? So far, it’s been helpful to me. Maybe I should give it a name. Is it male or female? Any ideas?   For now, I will keep you in suspense, as I cannot yet reveal details of the steps that I take along my path. All I can say is that I will keep you informed.

I will bring you stories that are engineered to entertain. These stories may not answer why, but at least, they may enlighten you to the question.

I will update you all on my New Year’s progress.

Thank you for following me this far.
As always play nicely with everyone else.

That’s all folks!
Bernard Wozny
Self-Published author.
www.bernardwozny.com

Keep reading…
Keep Writing…
Keep sailing on…
And behave?

President of the California Writers’ Club – Sacramento Branch.
Check out our website (www.cwcsacramentowriters.org)
thats-all-folks
Bernard's new chair

Thanksgiving

I have a new friend!

It’s not male or female, in fact, it’s not even alive. Before you ask, it’s not even one of those artificial intelligent things. The closest it gets to a computer is a couple of feet.

Who or what is it? I hear you ask, it’s a chair. Not just any chair, it’s a kneeling chair. The first time I saw one, I fell in love, and I’ve been after one ever since.

Everyone praises the way it supports posture, a fact that I concur with. There is a second reason I love these is attentiveness. I am upright with correct posture, with a comfortably balanced spine. My position is above the computer, where I can remain focused on my work. OK, I can still find excuses for working slow, but this certainly is the right direction.

You can see how I used to work at my desk, chronic lethargy is apparent. Posture that deserves an insult. Propensity to snooze, and look at the computer screen, this knob head is playing games!

My Old Chair
My Old Chair

Have a look what a kneeling chair can do! You can clearly see that this is a happy man. His posture is upright, while he is comfortably positioned for work. Look at his computer screen, this man is flowing with words.

My New Chair
My New Chair

The rest (sic) is going to sound like a product review.

I fell in love with these seats many years ago, in England, but it took me this long to acquire one. Maintaining posture is paramount, while I keep above and focused on my work.

Choices of these chairs are many, I’ve seen prices range up to nearly $1,000 (WTF?) this cost me less than $150. I chose this model because,

  • It is on castors and can move around.
  • It has side handles, this is the only model I found with handles.
  • Back rest – again this is the only one with back rests. Not too sure about backrests, I can always remove it if I decide to.
  • Price – did I mention this is cheap?
  • Turns out to be well constructed and robust.

Back to Thanksgiving: as you can imagine, my chair is high on my list of things to be thankful for. Other things rate high, some even higher.

What I really want to be thankful for is not forthcoming. After all my years of existence I understand that some things will never come to pass. For instance, when people ask, “What do you want for Christmas?” I always reply, “World peace.”

I don’t think a chair is much help with that.

Thank you for following me this far.

Keep learning, stay above water, and always play nicely with everyone else.

Bernard

That’s all folks!

Elk Grove Conference 2023

September Blog

This year I accepted the opportunity to deliver the Keynote Speech at the Elk Grove Writer’s Conference.


The title of the speech was “What’s new in Writing and Publishing”. As you can guess, the focus of my presentation was AI.

The speech was filmed and is available on my YouTube Channel.

June Blog

This month of June I am underground, underwater, and possibly underhanded.

Underground?

I’m still investigating AI tools. Some of these tools pose a threat. I don’t mean there will be an AI writing program what will write humanity out of existence. Instead, let me give you an example of how AI is affecting writing.

Audio Books – if you read my last blog, you will know that I’m looking towards making an audio book. Many voices in the writing industry have said that audio books are the future. I have tried to listen to audio books, and (personally) I found them boring and bordering on the irritating. I have yet to find a voice that will engage me and draw me into a story. I do not doubt that good and engaging audio books exist, so please enlighten me of examples.

The main markets for audio books strictly exclude AI voices. I can understand why – this is a new technology, and it threatens the jobs of existing (human) book voices.

I take an alternate stance – I think this will create a new set of jobs and a new work force. I have experimented with this technology, and I am (as a technophile) drawn towards it. I think new voice entrepreneurs can use this AI tech to create imaginative books. Let’s move beyond the book to create imaginative audio entertainment.

The Polish Eagle – Orzel

Underwater?

Yes, I have that sinking feeling that all authors experience. My sunken thoughts are trending towards the officers and crew of ORP Orzel.

I am trending to a new launch of my novel ORP Orzel.

Built in Holland, commissioned on 2 February 1939, she was a state-of-the-art submarine for its day. She avoided the Nazi onslaught in September 1939. While landing her ailing captain in the neutral port of Tallinn, the remaining officers enacted a daring escape from Nazi influenced internment. Yes, the Nazi’s wanted this submarine.

With little hope and no resources, they try to continue the struggle against the Nazis. They eventually flee the Baltic Sea to join the Royal Navy.

“The greatest adventure story to come out of the war” – Sir, Winston Churchill.

This is the Alamo of Poland in WW2. This is the Spirit of Poland!

Sadly, they are lost somewhere in the North Sea.

Being half Polish, I had to make this story public. Technically, the writing format I used is called Creative Non-Fiction. That means I researched the history and events and wrote the story as it happens, in the correct timeline.

Underhanded?

OK, this is where I make my confessions.

As they say in the Catholic confessional – “Bless me Father for I have sinned…”

I have a whole bunch of stuff to unload here…

1) I watched Lucifer on Netflix and thought it was really cool (He did NOT make me do it)

2) I’m madly in love with Mazikeen (aka Lesley Ann Brandt) Phwor!

3) I say bad words.

4) Not sure if I want to go to heaven – I hear it’s boring.

5) What the hell is that all about?

6) Lying – do you believe me?

I never did unload my secret desires to a priest. Would you?

Thank you for following me this far.

Keep learning, stay above water, and always play nicely with everyone else.

Bernard

That’s all folks!

As president of the California Writers’ Club – Sacramento Branch, I am working hard to promote our members’ books. Check out our website, in particular a web page I have built to promote Members’ Books.

Members’ Books – California Writers Club, Sacramento Branch (cwcsacramentowriters.org)

Keep reading…

Sail on…

And behave?

My Desk

Oh May I?

This is May and the flowers are springing.

I have also been reminded that it is time for cleaning.

So, out with the old stuff and in with the new thing.

I am turning over not just a new leaf, but a whole new garden. In the meantime, I will be messaging you all once a month. I promise this to be true – I cross my heart and hope never to lie again.

This will be a good exercise to keep me focused, and oh, boy, do we writers need to stay on target.

By the way, many people ask me what my workplace is like.

Normally, I work in my office at home where I do most of my writing (see attached picture).

My Desk
My Desk2

My heroine gazes upon me from her bed as I write, while my favorite pet dog watches over me from a hillside in Yorkshire. Here in this office, I can work in the early morning or late at night.

I do work in different locations, for instance, I used to like going to the local library. But now that the weather is nice, I will cycle to Lake Natomas and sit on my favorite park bench, with a small picnic, a bottle of wine, and a nice view of the lake. I will sit in the shade and write as best I can.

The real knowledge is not where I write, but – is it ready? Is my brain in gear?

There is some good news! Book 2 of Girl Electric is now in first draft status. That means I must run through the whole thing, fix all the plot holes, check a shedload of other stuff, and then make sure it’s presentable to my editor. She is the last stop before publication.

Oh, wait. I also need a book cover.

Girl Electric had (in my opinion) a good cover, but I need something special for Girl Electric 2.

For this new cover, I think I need 2 girls, because Girl Electric 2, has 2 electric girls. I’m sorry if I’m confusing you but wait until you read this.

*   *   *   *   *

With book 2 nearly finished, and publishing only a step away, I have something burning on my mind.

Audiobooks are supposed to be the big thing these days. I’m looking into this, but I want more than just a simple audiobook. All audiobooks have a single narrative voice, this voice will speak the narration and speak all the different characters. I want to do an audiobook where each character has a different voice.

Hiring one person to narrate a standard novel is not cheap.

For Girl Electric I must have a young female voice, to reflect Adara Banks.

For Orzel, it must be an English-speaking male, but with a Polish accent.

If I can find the correct 2 voices, then I could have 2 audiobooks.

BUT – what can I do if I want multiple voices for different characters?

What I would like, is to animate my audio novel with a voice for each character, male/female, young/adult. This is available now with current online AI systems.

In part – and I do stress in part – I have found this capability in the AI voice-over systems that are available. I can select an AI persona and provide a script for that AI to speak.

For instance, I have tested the narrative parts of my work using various AI voices, and that seems to work really well. That’s just the narrative part.

On the other hand, transcribing written dialog into automated AI spoken dialog has proven to be disappointing at best. I have access to online tools that claim to do dialog well. They even have the ability to highlight words, phrases, or whole lines of text and apply a given emotion. Yes, I have seen this work, but I have not managed to get it working in a practical way. It always sounds kind of bland and unconvincing.

You see, a human narrator is best. I can tell them: “You need to cry more when you speak that part.” Whereas a sadness scale of 1-10 may not suffice on the AI crying part.

But I am still working on the AI possibilities.  The AI is affordable, but the human version, although expensive, is MUCH more applicable. I just need a bunch of affordable voice actors. If I want multiple (human) voices for each character, then I have to pay for each one. If I were to pursue this approach, I doubt I would make any money.

Multiple voices sound like a radio program or an online play. This is something I want to pursue, not radio plays as such, but a full in-depth, multi-character, audiobook, with a separate voice for each character. This is seriously on my scope! How it comes to reality, I’m not sure yet.

You first heard it here!

Any volunteers for voiceovers?

In addition to AI voices, I have also been experimenting with AI avatars. The YouTube link below is my first dabble in this technology. This is an example of Girl Electric. Yes, I know this is cheesy at best, but we must learn how to crawl before we can even walk.

Running comes later, but someday I dream we can all fly!

As always – keep learning, stay afloat, and play nicely with everyone else.

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