Imaginative Stories Created to Entertain

Category: Story

Learning to Read

I decided to read Frankenstein, by Mary Shelly, (should I say the full title?) Frankenstein; or the modern Prometheus. There are many reasons I chose to read this, primarily because I know the original story was radically different than the old Hollywood movies. Also, because Mary Shelly created an everlasting meme from her story. Everything from monsters to genetically modified crops.

While I was reading this, I found my progress to be very slow. I’m not a speed reader at the best of times, but this was becoming ridiculous. As I reflected on the words, I began to realize why I was so slow. The vocabulary used, and the construction of the phrases were more akin to the Victorian era, and not the twenty-first century.

The secret to reading works like this is to not race through the words. As a reader you need to forgive yourself for slow reading and in your mind apply yourself like a formal English gentleman. It may take longer, but it’s a lot more fun.

Casting my mind back to other classic writings, I thought of Shakespear. His writings were theatrical and more poetic. Whilst reading Shakespear in school, it had to be read slow, if only to enjoy the rhythm and his unique descriptives. Reading it slowly enhanced his words.

Then my English literary teacher introduced us to Geoffrey Chaucer. “Open your books to page one.” We were told. Are you kidding me? I couldn’t even read it, never mind understanding it. “Please sir, can I do a double class in mathematics instead?” I asked because I had to get out of there.

“Shut up Wozny! Sit in the front row and behave yourself.”

Chaucer turned out to be some of the greatest writings I ever encountered. Our teacher instructed us with a simple trick; read it in an old English accent. The closest I can describe is Somerset or Cornwall accents, similar to pirate slang. The entire class took off, and we competed amongst ourselves to read aloud.

So, what is the point of all this? I’ve led you through part of my literary appreciation for what reason?

Reading is a remarkable thing; in a sense, it is not natural for us. Modern humans are about 300,000 years old, while we’ve only had writing for about 5,000 years. Yet look at how the written words guide you along, suggesting to you how fast or slow to read it. I have read some passages (Stephen King) which made me jump out of my seat. Other comical books can cause me embarrassment while I burst into uncontrollable laughter.

If you are a writer, bear these thoughts in mind. The art of reading is the direct result of the art of writing. I cannot begin to advise how to construct such lively text, I have enough challenges of my own.

Remember, your words must be read.

Blood From a Stone

They say that writers should share their personal experiences with their readers. They say it adds depth and makes you look real, well here it goes.

When I lived in England, I frequently gave blood. I did this because hospitals are always in need, and I could rest assured that I indirectly saved lives. I was not paid for my efforts, but the National Health Service (NHS) did provide all you can eat ice cream and cookies.

At each session a pint of blood was extracted. The body replaces that pint very quickly from bone marrow reserves. However, it takes time for the reserves to recover, so donating blood could only be done every month or two.

When I came to California, one of the first things I did was stop at a hospital and ask if I could donate blood. They asked, “Are you from England?” I had to answer affirmative, whereupon they refused my blood. The reason being CJD, or Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, also known as mad cow disease. This incurable Illness was killing British cattle, and if you ate infected beef, you would also succumb.

I did get some free ice cream though!

More recently this American restriction was lowered, and by chance I came upon an offer where I could donate plasma. This time it wasn’t for ice cream; I would get paid for my bodily life fluids. Plasma is the fluid that carries the red blood cells, it is made up of 90% water and the rest is protein and minerals. They extract the blood, separate the red cells and platelets with a centrifuge. They keep the plasma and return the red stuff back into your arm in a saline solution. This is done in stages, extracting and returning and the whole process takes about an hour.

The downside is you have a piece of plumbing stuck in your arm which is connected to a big device which seems to be a cross between a washing machine and a drinks dispenser.

The upside is plasma can be donated (or sold) twice a week. Which also means I get paid twice a week.

I thought this was super cool!

Pretty soon, my arms began to look like that of a drug addict. To coin a phrase, I began to feel drained. The processing that preceded each session was repetitive, and tedious, a bit like checking into hospital. The dollar signs that previously lit up my eyes were fading. I realized I need my plasma more than I need their money. In future, I will stay true to my principles of giving to those in need.

The moral of this story?

Good things don’t always last.

If they don’t then they probably weren’t good things to begin with.

Dragon 2024

Little did the Dragon Know

Once upon a time, there was a little Dragon. The funny thing about this Dragon was, she didn’t know she was a Dragon. This is because nobody told her, but also, she didn’t bother to find out. That is often the case with heroes, or in this case heroines. In fact, many people in this world don’t realize who or what they are.

One Christmas, she met a Pig. The Pig knew he was a Pig. Nobody needed to tell him that because it was obvious. “There is nothing wrong with being a Pig. Eating, drinking, and relaxing in a warm bubbly mud bath. That’s the life for me!” He often said.

Pigs are warm at heart, free spirited, and they like their comfort. They indulge in wealth but care little for money. If anything, they are generous, always sharing with friends. They can also be finicky. After all, any old mud puddle will not do. It must be just right. Perfectly warm and bubbly and, of course, soothing for the skin.

Dragons, as you know, are powerful and enigmatic. They are visionary, goal oriented. Dragons say that they like to be romanced. I’ve heard others say idolized. They are supposed to have a keen sense of self, but this young Dragon lacked that quality. That’s ok because she was still young.

When the Dragon met the Pig, the Dragon thought little of the Pig. “Humph,” she said to herself, “what a scruffy, raggedy old Pig.” What she didn’t see was the warm heart inside.

The Pig thought, “Hm, nice girl, a bit young, but maybe we could go out together for a while?”

They did just that. The next day, they went downtown to hang out and see a movie. They watched the Bruce Lee movie, Enter the Dragon. Bruce Lee was famous in those days for being a super-duper Kung Foo hero. Since he was born in 1940, which also made him a Dragon. Since this was his first movie, Enter the Dragon was a very appropriate title.

Neither the Pig nor the young Dragon realized the significance of this. The Pig only thought, Ok, you’re taking me to see a Bruce Lee movie, whatever.

Years passed by and they didn’t see each other. Until one day, the young Dragon traveled to Scotland to pick strawberries. This wasn’t the first time the young Dragon traveled, but it was a long journey overseas for her.

The Pig was a confident traveler, visiting many mud puddles with many friends. When he received a message that the Dragon was in Scotland, he asked her to visit him.

That is exactly what she did. One day she turned up at the Pig’s mud hut, where he welcomed her with a warm and open heart. So, this story is certainly NOT love at first sight, but now it’s turning into whoopie!

They had to part, but they now were both seasoned travelers, and every time they traveled, they would make sure to meet each other for some more whoopie. This stuff is habit forming.

One spring day, they decided to stay together forever. As you know, it’s not yet forever, but the Dragon and the Pig are still together. In fact, they have two children, a Dragon, and a tiger, in that order.

Did they live happily ever after? That only happens in fairy tales.

The good news is that no one has cooked, shredded, or minced The Pig.

The moral of this story?

Everyone loves a bit of bacon!

And where would man be without fire?

That’s all folks!

Bernard Wozny
Self-Published author.
www.bernardwozny.com

Keep reading…
Keep Writing…
Keep sailing on…
And behave?

President of the California Writers’ Club – Sacramento Branch.
Check out our website (www.cwcsacramentowriters.org)
thats-all-folks
My Desk

Oh May I?

This is May and the flowers are springing.

I have also been reminded that it is time for cleaning.

So, out with the old stuff and in with the new thing.

I am turning over not just a new leaf, but a whole new garden. In the meantime, I will be messaging you all once a month. I promise this to be true – I cross my heart and hope never to lie again.

This will be a good exercise to keep me focused, and oh, boy, do we writers need to stay on target.

By the way, many people ask me what my workplace is like.

Normally, I work in my office at home where I do most of my writing (see attached picture).

My Desk
My Desk2

My heroine gazes upon me from her bed as I write, while my favorite pet dog watches over me from a hillside in Yorkshire. Here in this office, I can work in the early morning or late at night.

I do work in different locations, for instance, I used to like going to the local library. But now that the weather is nice, I will cycle to Lake Natomas and sit on my favorite park bench, with a small picnic, a bottle of wine, and a nice view of the lake. I will sit in the shade and write as best I can.

The real knowledge is not where I write, but – is it ready? Is my brain in gear?

There is some good news! Book 2 of Girl Electric is now in first draft status. That means I must run through the whole thing, fix all the plot holes, check a shedload of other stuff, and then make sure it’s presentable to my editor. She is the last stop before publication.

Oh, wait. I also need a book cover.

Girl Electric had (in my opinion) a good cover, but I need something special for Girl Electric 2.

For this new cover, I think I need 2 girls, because Girl Electric 2, has 2 electric girls. I’m sorry if I’m confusing you but wait until you read this.

*   *   *   *   *

With book 2 nearly finished, and publishing only a step away, I have something burning on my mind.

Audiobooks are supposed to be the big thing these days. I’m looking into this, but I want more than just a simple audiobook. All audiobooks have a single narrative voice, this voice will speak the narration and speak all the different characters. I want to do an audiobook where each character has a different voice.

Hiring one person to narrate a standard novel is not cheap.

For Girl Electric I must have a young female voice, to reflect Adara Banks.

For Orzel, it must be an English-speaking male, but with a Polish accent.

If I can find the correct 2 voices, then I could have 2 audiobooks.

BUT – what can I do if I want multiple voices for different characters?

What I would like, is to animate my audio novel with a voice for each character, male/female, young/adult. This is available now with current online AI systems.

In part – and I do stress in part – I have found this capability in the AI voice-over systems that are available. I can select an AI persona and provide a script for that AI to speak.

For instance, I have tested the narrative parts of my work using various AI voices, and that seems to work really well. That’s just the narrative part.

On the other hand, transcribing written dialog into automated AI spoken dialog has proven to be disappointing at best. I have access to online tools that claim to do dialog well. They even have the ability to highlight words, phrases, or whole lines of text and apply a given emotion. Yes, I have seen this work, but I have not managed to get it working in a practical way. It always sounds kind of bland and unconvincing.

You see, a human narrator is best. I can tell them: “You need to cry more when you speak that part.” Whereas a sadness scale of 1-10 may not suffice on the AI crying part.

But I am still working on the AI possibilities.  The AI is affordable, but the human version, although expensive, is MUCH more applicable. I just need a bunch of affordable voice actors. If I want multiple (human) voices for each character, then I have to pay for each one. If I were to pursue this approach, I doubt I would make any money.

Multiple voices sound like a radio program or an online play. This is something I want to pursue, not radio plays as such, but a full in-depth, multi-character, audiobook, with a separate voice for each character. This is seriously on my scope! How it comes to reality, I’m not sure yet.

You first heard it here!

Any volunteers for voiceovers?

In addition to AI voices, I have also been experimenting with AI avatars. The YouTube link below is my first dabble in this technology. This is an example of Girl Electric. Yes, I know this is cheesy at best, but we must learn how to crawl before we can even walk.

Running comes later, but someday I dream we can all fly!

As always – keep learning, stay afloat, and play nicely with everyone else.

Look What I Found

In September 2021, I spent 4 weeks in Europe, visiting my family and ancestral home. This was shared with time, between Poland and England.

Needless to say, it’s great to be with family, wherever we are. But I also used some of this time in Poland, to research my novel; ORP Orzel – the Spirit of Poland.

I don’t want to bore you with the technical issues of writing an historical novel, instead I want to share with you a little gem I came across while in England.

Maybe I should start with the pub crawl. This isn’t the gem I came across, because I know there are great pubs with great beer, but a pub crawl along the river Thames drinking British beer is something to rave about.

In case you didn’t know, British beer is the best in the world. You may have different opinions about this, and you may send me relevant comments. I just want you to know that there is no way on this side of creation that you will change my mind.

Anyway, I digress, so back to the little gem I discovered.

As well as pub crawls, I was also dragged, kicking, and screaming on shopping trips. There was one shopping trip that I found to be enjoyable.

If you’re in London, and you’re inclined to do some shopping, you probably want to spend time on Oxford St., Knightsbridge, or Mayfair. I say forget those tourist traps and check out a place called Canary wharf.

Canary Wharf is a modern development in the East London docklands, known as the Isle of Dogs.

Sacre Bleu!

I know, if it was Paris, they would have a more romantic name like: Île Saint-Louis, Île de la Cité, The Latin Quarter, or Saint-Martin.

Get over it ok? It’s an English thing, Isle of Dogs, in the East end of London – Canary Wharf is the best you can say.

It has been developed as a financial center based around Canada Tower, which used to be the highest skyscraper in London. It is now dwarfed by much grander towers, and is surrounded by shopping malls, boutiques, and very expensive accommodations.

You can read more here:

Art & Culture – Canary Wharf

Canada Tower is the building left of center, with the pyramid top

What I found is just too cool to be true (for me anyway). It was a short story vending machine. Who in their right mind could think up such a thing? All you have to do is press a button and out pops a printed short story! My only criticism is, I couldn’t select the genre – but hey, who cares? It’s free! And I can print as many as I like. I can then find a little quiet hideaway where I can read to my heart’s content, without worrying if a blouse is the right color!

This is the short story station, it will print out for free, a short story of 1, 3, or 5 minutes reading length.

Make a selection of your choice…

Some old codger with a short story!

I chose a 5-minute story, and here it is!

OK, maybe I’m behind the times and need to get out more. This turns out to be the creation of a French publishing house called Short Édition. Check out the link below.

The Short Story Dispenser – An innovative printing kiosk to promote reading, writing, and community engagement. – Short Édition (short-edition.com)

The romantic French once again get all the credit. Partnering with Francis Ford Coppola, this has spread all over the world. There are quite a few here in America! Look it up on Google if you don’t believe me.

Like I said, I really must get out more.

Powered by Bernard, using WordPress & Lovecraft Theme by Anders Norén